Faith is not the consequence of our obedience, but the gift of Him who commands obedience. God's plan for us is better than we could ever imagine. He has brought me out of the darkness and into the light. So when He tells me to do something why do I feel inadequate? Is it not God himself who lives in me? "I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing."
-John 15:5
When we feel separate from God it is because we refuse to give Him ALL of our life. We are not being obedient to what He has already commanded us to do. When Jesus tells me to clean the bathroom, I clean the kitchen. Then I ask, "Is this good enough?" "Look at this great thing I did for You!" But I didn't do what He actually asked me to do. Instead, I made my own condition. I justified my own way. This leaves me separate from God and feeling empty.
When I read page 73 of The Cost of Discipleship by Bonhoeffer, I began weeping, knowing full well that I have not been obedient. Faith only becomes faith in the act of obedience. I am renouncing the sin that holds me fast, so I can enter communion with The One who makes me whole!